The change: ask ourselves why we do not ask
The change: ask ourselves why we do not ask
The sociologist Alicia Aradilla analyzes why the calendar change increases the internal sensation of change and proposes how to do it.
At the gates of 2019, some simple questions are the first step to question our lives in these dates and see if we need a change.
The calendar change increases the internal sensation of the change.
It is a moment of vital questioning, some economic sectors know and exploit it, such as gyms or language academies.
We tend to make lists of dreams, tasks, purposes, desires ...
We tend to question the routines, the lifestyle, some recent strategic decisions, the relational environment ...
What expressed in more concrete aspects, we take it to the change of job, couple, house, city, hairdresser, car ...
This vital questioning focuses on the external aspects of life, although the deepest change occurs in our interior, in the internal world.
As the sociologist and expert in neurolinguistics indicates Alicia Aradilla:
"The best resource and good ally for this change is the power of the question, which is accentuated when the referential index is internal.
For example, reflect on which people we decide to continue accompanying us in life or taking out of it, the so-called toxic people.
The proposal is, instead of using a neurolinguistic as
"I do not want to have toxic people in my life" - phrase that would give for a deep neurolinguistic analysis, since the people, we do not "have" them in our life, but with them we relate.
We weave relationships and with those relationships, we live our lives. From that rationing, some examples of internal referential index questions could be:
What has been my contribution to this toxic relationship?
How to improve that aspect of me?
How to transfer the best of me to the rest of relationships or next relationships? ".
In what way should we ask ourselves to know if we need a change:
- We do not ask ourselves why, among other factors, we delegate responsibility for our circumstances to the circumstances themselves, excluding ourselves.
- We do not ask because the courage to accept ourselves is needed.
It is the main source of our results.
- We do not ask because it requires a kind of courage that is not socially shown, which is highly intimate.
- We do not ask ourselves, sometimes, for emotional comfort.
It is more comfortable to expect others to change to promote internal change.
- We do not ask because we do not give ourselves moments of reflection and silence.
We perceive it as a loss of efficiency in time management.
- We do not ask ourselves why we are subtly caught in the immediacy of indicators and results.
- We do not even ask ourselves the first question:
Why do not I ask myself? Instead of asking so many questions "to my life"?
This simple step, this simple question of more complex answer is the first step to question our life more deeply in these dates in which the perception that gives us the change of calendar is that it is possible to change.
Alicia Aradilla, sociologist.
It is not only a perception, really, it is possible to change our environment and first of all, change us, from the power of the question of internal referential index.
Images: Alicia Aradilla, Pixabay
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